Vampire Diaries Voice Over fills us in again this week on the history of Mystic Falls and what happened last week. Elena turned, Damon yearned and the Council burned. It’s week two and I am already over the VDVO. It was interesting the first time to catch up a new viewer to the general history of the show but a simple "previously on The Vampire Diaries" really suffices. Plus the way Joseph Morgan delivers the line "and even hybrids" just sucks.
Stefan and Elena are all snuggly in the woods and we immediately flash back to I assume the previous night at Chez Salvatore. The brothers are arguing about Stefan’s plan to keep Elena on an animal diet. He believes if she never feeds on a human she’ll be better able to handle the blood lust. Damon insists it can’t work, that she needs to feed "from the vein" which sounds way dirty.
Elena walks in on the chest-thumping and tries to get Damon on board the "animal plan" but Damon’s not having it. "You’re a vampire, Elena. Be a vampire."
Intercut with the argument are snippets showing Stefan stalking a deer, Elena feeding from it Stefan reassuring her that the deer will recover. This whole transformation just is not going to work for me if Elena stays this precious.
Next Stefan tries to teach her the vampire zoom but giggly Elena is too distracted by his hands on her body, which, fair point, I would be too. The lesson turns into a shirtless makeout session but Elena’s feeling grumbly in her tumbly. She zooms off and spews up a bucket of Bambi blood.
Title card!
At Vampire Gitmo, AKA Pastor Young’s ranch, an attractive African American gentleman opens the door to the murder room.
He examines the gas line and the lighter and we flash back to the explosion scene which we just saw in the previouslys, show, give us a little credit for persistence of memory. He opens the oven and there’s an envelope inside addressed to an "April". He takes it and reads it and if he turns out to be April that would be hysterical.
Mystic Grill, still the only place in town with a liquor license apparently. Sheriff Liz finds Damon drinking his breakfast and confronts him with the newspaper story about the explosion. He notes the cover-up nature of the headline and Liz remarks that it’s better than "Town Council blown up, police have no suspects". Except for Damon, who assures her that if he were going to kill twelve people he’d "have a dinner party. Snerk.
Damon pipes the new fish, who approaches the Sheriff to ask about the fire. He introduces himself as Conner Jordan which I’m wondering if that’s a shout out to Angel, Green Lantern or maybe both.
Liz wonders if he has something to do with the insurance claim but he explains he’s "more of an independent contractor". He draws her aside to chat, conveniently ignoring Damon.
Cut to Mystic Falls High School where Jeremy and Matt, who I think is sporting a spiffy new haircut, are loading some boxes into an SUV. Jeremy exposits that they contain paper lanterns made by the student council which will be lit and released in remembrance of the dead Council members. Matt snarkily wonders whether the student council really thought through the "memorialize people who burned to death with fire" concept. Heh. Jeremy advises him not to crack wise in front of Elena.
Matt asks how she is, still feeling guilty that she was turned because Stefan saved him. He offers to do whatever he can, "short of giving her a ride". Matt is tearing it up tonight.
A new girl approaches Jeremy. He eventually recognizes her as April, Pastor Young’s daughter whom Elena used to baby-sit. She’s socially awkward and makes inappropriate gas line references so I guess she’s Jeremy’s new love interest? She explains that she’s not much for grief.
Elena calls Caroline from Stefan’s bedroom and leaves a voicemail, explaining she’s having adjustment issues. Stefan bounds in with a bottle of champagne from the year she was born to celebrate her first feed. I wonder if Hallmark makes a card for that. She’s not sure she should be celebrating since the blood made her sick and Stefan cranks up the gay with "Listen, I choked it down for a month before I could stomach the taste." Elena pops Stefan’s cork and they blather away about their feelings for a minute and kiss a bit before a phone call interrupts. It’s Damon, and Stefan gets all concerned.
Back at the Grill Elena confronts Damon about whether he arsoned the Council and he’s all "Am I wearing my ‘I Blew Up the Council’ t-shirt?" She confesses that she can’t keep the animal blood down. He suggests snacking on one of the customers, pointing out they have "Asian fusion, Mexican, how about some good old American comfort food?"
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